From Dave Barry:

"I don't know why a woman would be ticked off if you gave her a 56-piece socket-wrench set with a 72-tooth reversible ratchet, but thrilled if you gave her a tiny, very expensive vial of liquid with a name like 'L'essence de Nooquie Eau de Parfum de Cologne de Tiolette de Bidet,', which, to the naked male nostril, does not smell any better than a stick of Juicy Fruit gum. All I'm saying is that this is the kind of thing women want. (That's why the ultimate gift is jewelery; it's totally useless.)"