I DON'T PAY FINES!!!

So we have "Hilti", "Fantasy Hilti", "Hidden Hilti", and now "Heated Hilti". Hilti participants will now be required to wear helmets. (Those who tend to use the term "controlled fear" may also want to wear mouth-guards.)
Booney's week was pretty booring. No dates last weekend, but the coming weekend may finally break the drought for Hilti (if Lisa doesn't strangle him first, that is.) Will these dates lead to anything? I'd say the chances are roughly equal to the castaways on Lost being rescued this week, Paris not getting kicked off American Idol on Wednesday, or Erica baking some chocolate chip cookies for Greg Fowler.
Kute Kate was next on the interview couch. Friday was the big night with Drunk Date. It appears that skinnier-Legs decided to skip the completing-a-whole-date phase, and go right to the let's-spend-a-week-together-in-your-uncle's-condo-in-New-York phase. (This guy moves almost as fast as Joel.) ;) He's divorced, skinny-as-a-rail, seriously weird, and the date was not good at all, so of course she wants to go out with him again. Maybe some good service will help -- Ward visits anyone? No? Ward visits anyone?
Sun uncovered the world's conspiracy to try to get her to marry PB. Our cover is blown!! "Operation Agreeable" is off! I repeat! "Operation Agreeable" is off!! Abort! Abort!! Abort!!! I would comment more on the date, but Lisa informed us last night that we've only seen a small portion of the built-up anger, so...
Claire's baby is SOOOOO cute! (Who is the father? Her brother.) (As Allyson would say: "Awkward.") Claire had quite the exciting week. The trip to Seattle Tacoma Spokane (not "Spokane") must have done her good, because while everybody else was on the verge of shooting someone in the thigh, Claire sat there, calm as the sun (not to be confused with Sun, who was... not so calm.) Not-so-skinny-legs appears to have averted the near-crisis for now. There have been a few tense moments, but he's dribbled the ball past a few big defenders who we thought he might not get by and is moving quickly up the field. Is there a championship ring in the future? The bets odds chances possibilities are probably about as good as Lost being a rerun any given week.
After all was said and done, things calmed down, and the night turned out to be really good. I think there's a lesson we can learn from all of this: We all need to be more like the squirrels.

Buckle your lips, you little... pieces... of... nothings!

Guess who's back? Back again. Hilti's back. Tell a friend. This week's installment of Days of our Hilti was quite uneventful... or was it, Al?!?! (It turns out that in addition to Hilti and Fantasy Hilti, we now have a new category of Hilti: Hidden Hilti. (Which ironically is the same thing most of the female population around the world is praying for... and because prayers are answered, Booney Boy didn't have anything to contribute to the Hilti.))
Lisy Lis and the Funky Bunch had a Date-o on Friday. (Note to self for future dates: A stake activity honoring the outgoing stake presidency is not a good place to take a date.) (Oh, wait... I already knew that.)
Kate, whose new super-cute hairstyle has now pulled the average age of the Hilti committee down to 17 years-old, had an pretty eventful week as well. The Friday date was SO MUCH FUN!! (Note to self for future dates: Gateway is the perfect place for a date... espeically if you want Miss America to never call you back again.) (I don't know -- What do you think of Gateway dates, Al?) The date was well-planned, the guy was really cool, she's never had so much fun in her life, so of course she never wants to see him again. Joel, on the other hand, should feel pretty special, however, because Kate turned down a date with Mr. Dreamboat to go to DC. Unfortunately, however, Mr. Dreamboat stayed at the dock when he found out that Civics need a special kind of fuel called "Unleaded". (Who knew?!!) Why he would worry about something as little as a potential future spouse putting $25 worth of diesel into an $8,000 car that has $500 worth of damage from a wreck (that fortunately didn't hurt the new $500 bumper that was put on after the last wreck), and racking up a $150 towing bill all in one night is beyond me...
Claire didn't have anything... until she got caught in her web of lies!!! In a stunning revelation, we were shocked to learn that not only had Claire kissed Michael, but she has also kissed skinny legs. (Whose?... we don't know.) Perhaps that's why Claire was using vulgarities all night like (remember I'm quoting) "Nothings". The 15 year-old probably hears those kinds of things in school every day, but what about the 10 year-old and the two 12 year-olds, Al?? I hope you're happy.
Hanging around Erica must have rubbed off on "?" -- He kissed 4 people in less than two hours. (Rim shot!) (J/K, Dribb -- You know I love you!) "?" has many ladies on the line. Some psycho, some not. Will any of them make it to a second date?! No.
In summary, the Hilti Committee needs to work on their communication skills. Luckily, Hilti Himself is a Communication major. I believe I can heal the pain that Al's vicious lies have caused and bridge the gap between Al and Erica, and Joe, Lisa, and myself. But only if everyone will listen to our wise Bishop's advice given yesterday in church: "Just do whatever Spencer says."